It is extremely sad that nowadays in Western civilisation hardly anyone can talk about their pain, and even fewer people can listen about it.
And what makes it difficult to listen about someone’s pain?
each person is an individual and what hurts one person is not necessarily seen as pain for another person. Then, due to a lack of understanding, this person’s pain can be underestimated and even ridiculed. The foundation of closeness with another person is lack of judgment, you can feel closeness with another person, even if you do not understand him. This situation can be illustrated by the situation when the child loses its beloved toy and its parent says „why do you cry, I will buy you a new one” or „why do you cry, it is just a stupid doll”. Bending over the pain of the other being means closeness and empathising. It is not about pitying this person, but understanding that he is in pain at the moment.
the pain of the other person triggers in us our hidden pain. Then you can hear: „don’t tell me about it, I don’t want to hear it” or „get a grip / stop whining.”
the pain of the other person is perceived as inadequate to the situation, then the person immediately pulls the person out of his pain. Eg „he was not worth you”, „you will definitely find a new job, after all you are a specialist” and in this way you will not let this person experience his pain to the end.
These are just a few examples, there are as many reasons as people.
Pain is part of experiencing yourself on Earth, but if you understand it and you are open to express it then it passes and never comes back. When you don’t understand your pain and escape from it, sometimes with the help of other people, you lose the chance to live on Earth loving yourself.
Everyone has a talent. Mine appeared late and it is the ability to feel the pain of the other person without judgment. I am able to help him diagnose it, understanding it and I lead this person to dissolve of pain. Any trauma can be transformed into love, all you need is to know how to do it.
Both avoiding pain and being unable to get out of pain are signs of lack of closeness with oneself. It doesn’t have to be this way.